Bananas!

Alright now that I have u'r attention.....this is another blog brought to you today by the bright yellow fruit that is currently sitting on my desk. (I couldn't think of a title to use and this is what just happened to pop into my head at this time of the morning.)

So I've gotten confirmation, as of yesterday at work, that I have been given an extension and am now staying until the end of October. YAY! After that they are gonna try to keep me on longer, but for now i'm not a bum.

I finally finished the latest installment of Harry Potter. And the ending is not what I had least bit expected it to be. So Mz. Cupcake and I went shopping last week (don't worry it was just to Superstore to get some "I feel like shit and need comfort food" junk) and whilst we were there, we picked up a few books. One of those books I started reading it this morning (its called 'It's called a Breakup Because it's Broken' by Greg Behrendt and his wife--and I found out last night that they will be starting their own show on the telly) and the little bit that I did read made me feel a bit better about myself. So I'm thinking that this book will help me through this breakup from the unmentionable bastard that broke my heart. Thanks for the advise that all of you have given me (I did take it in and tried very hard to keep it in my head). So Mz. Cupcake and I have been trying to work past our guy sorrows, and with her keeping my after work hrs busy it's been working. Thanks a bunch!

I've officially paid off my over maxed out credit and am broke for the next week and a half when I get paid again. (And I don't have to worry much about my car cause the majority of it is fixed)

I think that pretty much wraps things up for now...until the next blog kiddies!

(p.s. I wanted to post in yellow but it seemed hard to read so I edited it and reposted in green)

Torn

------Natalie Imbruglia

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around and he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
The conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there
And not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now I don't care
I had no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can touch I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can seeThe perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn

hoooooooooo hohooooooo hohoooo

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed
Bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm already torn

Torn.

Oh

And the beat keeps running......

- No update on my chest pain condition. Its worse now than before I took the antibodies to get rid of it. Doc says whatever was there before (from the x-rays) is gone now and doesn't understand why its worse when it should be better.

- Mr Romeo has decided that we are of no longer (and won't return any calls/messages so that I can go get the last of my stuff and has blocked me from everything, has lost his cell phone--I tried to cancel it but I can't afford the cancellation fees) So now it's x-romeo. And I ask that no one askes me how i'm doin cause its not that great and to have my heart stommped (sp?) on. I've hit depression again. I'm fine so long as no one talks to me about it. So I ask everyone who knows me to just not talk about the subject nor mention anything about it. I'm working past it all, just gimme some time. I love the guy but he's not ready for me. I guess he's just a little kid not wanting to grow up. I understand that no one's perfect but come on, by u'r early 20's u should have a drivers licence (and a lil car if you can afford it but that's not important), some sort of job, know how to cook and cook u'rself a good meal rather than eating junk or out all of the time, either be out on u'r own or be able to pay rent, and have a good outlook on life.

I think i'm gonna give up on dating altogether. I'm tired of broken hearts, i don't wanna go through those phases of momentary bliss in the beginning to no romance in the end.

- I still have not found out whether I get to stay here or not. I was told yesterday that my package is sitting on the Executive Director's desk and that I have to wait a bit longer to see what she says and when she gets back from being sick. I was thinking that if I don't get to stay here that I might get into the trades. Do an apprenciship of somesort and then work onsite wherever I may be needed. I thought maybe electrician cause I don't have to life heavy things and I have the patience to well...i'm not too sure if you need patience or whatnot to that kinda work. There is good money out there (yes i'll have to do a wardrobe change, and spend like 12-15 hrs a day on the job site) but atleast I can have the money in my back pocket and be able to afford big things in years to come.

- I've set my profile to private (as most of my readers got the e-mail -- or should have anyways) I did that cause Mr. x-romeo decided not to let me in on his life so i'm not letting him in on mine, and not only that, I get all of these weird ppl in my friend request box and I don't want that anymore. So for all of my friends PLEASE do not divulge any information from my blogs to anyone that may ask for it (particularily anyone that may be mr. x-romeo's friends) and let me know if they do. I just thought of somethin....I had it posted on myspace before hand that I had that blogspot website, I wonder if he's gonna try to check there....ok, i'm just gonna change my url but keep blogspot. So no worries.

What the Hell is Wrong With Me?

Ok so i've been to the doctor on many occasions to try and figure out this ongoing pain in my chest. I've had x-rays, an electrocardiogram, antibiotics (which were not that fun to take--Biaxin), and the pain was so bad I went to see another doctor yesterday and neither him nor my own doctor can find a damn thing wrong with me. Its been worsened after these antibiotics and my doc says whatever i had (from the x-rays) is now gone, and that he'll speak to a specialist and for me to phone back in a few days. I was first told it was bronchitis, then told it was neumonia (sp?) now i have no idea wtf my body is doing. (along with a rash on both of my legs that wont go away either). I figure i've been having this problem since the day after the system concert (which was so awesome by the way) cause i remember asking mr romeo if he was sick and if he passed on to me some how. So now I just tough it out until a. the pain is so bad i get admitted to a hospital and die or b. sit back and wait for it to go away on its own.

work is seemingly alright. I haven't had any change in what i'm doing or the amount of my workload. (as you may all have noticed i've been on msn more) I've taken on playing games to help me stay on task and not be so bored. I've started reading the latest installment of Harry Potter (the half-blood prince if any of you forgot which one) and mz. cupcake I has your last book--lil white lies--and a few other prezzents for ya.

Mr. muffin and mr. bagel....what is happenin in your lives now? I think we've started loosin touch again. I know mz. cupcake is workin her lil tooshy off at Dickensfield and trying to get back into the whole back to school thingy, but guys, we need another get-to-gether and catch up on some things.

Now as for my other readers whom i have lost touch with gimme a holler sometime cause i have no-one's numbers or any contact information to contact anyone....... and maybe we can set up a dinner/movie date or coffee or somethin.

(8) Lonely, i'm so lonely, i have nobody.....

nah, i know that i'm not alone, i just feel that i've been outta touch from too many ppl for too long.

Mz. Cupcake, I wanna go to Marble Slab but mr romeo has outright refused to go with.....COME OUT WITH ME!

So kiddies, i've over-maxed out my credit card and have cut myself off of anything involving spending large amounts of money and told myself that if i spend on my credit card for anything (other than gas for me car) that i'll cut it in half and rid myself of it. AAHHHH, my shopaholic sprees have caught up with me......

So i'm thinkin i wanna cut my hair really really short in the fall. so short so that I can spike it and do odd things to it. i'll miss the long hair but with it being short, it'll be so much easier to manage and I won't have to worry about so much product in the shower or using hair clips or stuff like that.

mr muffin, i found an mp3 player i'd like to get but i dunno if its worth it, I know i like it but from a techy point of view (yes mr bagel you can comment if its good too) i need a bits o' help. I found it on ebay....http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=014&item=330014034025&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&rd=1

I think that pretty much takes care of things that are on my mind for now for updates.

--Cheers!